Food

During our enforced, unnecessary and frankly ignominious incarceration at Howarth Cat Rescue my brother and I had to content ourselves with whatever fayre was presented to us. As you will no doubt surmise this ranged through the whole gamut of cheaper end cat food. I understand of course that the poor things were doing their best to provide a substantial meal but please, to think that I, Pixie Poo Poo should have to resort to such measures. Well, it simply doesn't bear the proverbial.

Then, one day (I believe it was a Sunday) some people arrived and after much simpering and mauling on their behalf my brother and decided that they should be allowed to take us from that place. To be fair to them, they did and here I am now on my own boat. But, can you imagine my horror when on the journey to Dowley Gap they stopped off at Aldi. ALDI! Of All places! Not Marks and Sparks but Aldi for crying out loud. I let it go at the time as I was in a rather cramped position in a basket (oh the humiliation). The man went into the shop whilst the woman - Ange remained in the car to simper some more at us. When we finally arrived at my boat I was incensed to notice that he had purchased a brand of cat food known as Vitacat. Vita-bloody-cat! I ask you. Again, to keep the peace, I let it go and gradually, over time, they learned to correctly provide us with Whiskas.

That all sounds well and good doesn't it but I'm a discerning cat with a sophisticated palate and well, (I'll just cut to the chase here), I'm bored of Bite 'n' Chew now and have registered this in the strongest possible manner. So I was quite excited when they returned from a foraging expedition on Friday with a new and shiny looking container with which they looked rather pleased with themselves about. And what do you suppose was in it? VITACAT!!!

Oh it was some dressed up, posh and poncy Vitacat in pate but Vitacat all the same and in my book you just can't pull the wool over my gorgeous eyes. I sulked, oh yes I did, and as a result there are now several sachets of IAMs in the cupboard. It seems agreeable and I'll tolerate it for now until my palate dictates otherwise, but they'd seriously better watch their step from now on. Who do they think they are dealing with here?

Gifts

Being such a generous and benevolent cat means that from time to time I bestow gifts upon the humans. They seemed so tired last night so I thought that I would go out whilst they were asleep, catch me a mouse and present it to them at half past five in the morning.

It took a while to find one and if I'm going to be honest it was a poor specimen at best but it's the thought that counts. I did get a bit side tracked at times but then when you're queen of all you survey that's understandable. But I did catch one and hastened back to my boat with my tail in the air to give it to them.

I put on my very best "I've caught something" meow to wake them up, as it was clearly a suitable hour for humans to arise, and was a little disappointed that only the male of the species heard me. He did get up however. The female I'm not so sure about as I don't see how she could have failed to have heard me. I'll let it go this time but in future she'd better jump to it!

Anyway, the man got up, took one look at my mouse, said something unintelligible in his gruff morning voice, picked up my gift and then, and this really got my goat, threw it into the canal. Idiot! No idea what to do with a dead mouse. Honestly, there are times when I just don't know how I put up with the pair of them. Like I said, on this occasion I will let it go because yesterday they bought me some new cat food to try. I'll give it a whirl but if I don't like it then mark my words they'll know about it. In the meantime I'll have to work how to get them to appreciate my little presents properly.

Salutations!

I am Pixie - Pixie Poo Poo. And this is my diary.

I live at Dowley Gap on my boat Walrus

I allow two humans, I believe they're called Ange and Al or some such, to live with me. I tolerate their presence and in return they provide me with all the cat food I can eat. It's a good arrangement and they adhere to my rules most of the time. Because of this I give them access to the bed during the hours of darkness when, for some reason, they choose to do their sleeping rather than stalking Dowley Gap looking for mice or bullying Snowy and Sooty (two young upstarts who live in a nearby cottage with other humans and that dog Stella). Why Ange and Al decide to live like this is their business and frankly I care not one iota suffice to say as long as they're happy, continue to feed me, empty my litter tray, keep the fire in during winter and cosset me in any which way I desire then I shall allow their strange practices to continue.

As you can see from my photo (the man - Al, helped me upload it) I'm perhaps the most gorgeous looking thing you ever saw and my two humans regularly endorse this fact with all the billing and cooing they do in my direction. Get's tiresome after a while but to keep the poor things from getting upset I put up with the all slobbering nonsense they come out with and endure all the stroking and petting with which they ceaselessly assault me. But do you know what? I'm worth it!

Yes, I'm the bees knees around here and this is my online diary