I've been a poorly Pixie lately so apologies to all my many, many fans out there on the world-inter-wide-net-web for the lack of posts. Normal service will now be resumed!
Thank you
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
Beauty
It's not easy staying this gorgeous.
It takes a lot of time and effort. Firstly there's my beauty sleep, approximately 8 hours a day, not including night time when I jump on and off the bed and jostle with the lummox for the right hand side of the mattress. Ange is far more cooperative with the other side. It can get annoying because after all it is my bed and they're only borrowing it.
Then there is the matter of eating only the finest cat food money can buy. I'll refuse cheap shite every time and will not assail my guts with such offal. My luxurious fur is a testimony to this fact.
After that comes my exercise regime. This involves chasing mice, chasing sooty and snowy, jumping noisily around the roof of my boat whilst the humans sleep and climbing whatever I like whenever I like.
Add to all this the rolling around in dust and ash and lolling around in front of the fire and it all adds up to me. Pixie - the most stunning thing you ever saw.
It takes a lot of time and effort. Firstly there's my beauty sleep, approximately 8 hours a day, not including night time when I jump on and off the bed and jostle with the lummox for the right hand side of the mattress. Ange is far more cooperative with the other side. It can get annoying because after all it is my bed and they're only borrowing it.
Then there is the matter of eating only the finest cat food money can buy. I'll refuse cheap shite every time and will not assail my guts with such offal. My luxurious fur is a testimony to this fact.
After that comes my exercise regime. This involves chasing mice, chasing sooty and snowy, jumping noisily around the roof of my boat whilst the humans sleep and climbing whatever I like whenever I like.
Add to all this the rolling around in dust and ash and lolling around in front of the fire and it all adds up to me. Pixie - the most stunning thing you ever saw.
Friday, 12 July 2013
Cream
I had cream for breakfast yesterday. Cream! All well and good I hear you say but what about today? No cream this morning and they can consider themselves unacceptable those humans. Teasing me with cream one day and then nothing the next. Am I not worth the price of a container of cream every day? I'm not going to be too fussy about it either. It doesn't have to be the finest clotted cream from Cornwall or anything, although naturally it really ought to be. No, I will happily slum it and put up with your basic single cream from the local deli-cat-essen (see what I did there!).
Apparently, and to top it all, this particular cream upon which I breakfasted was left over from some spicy food that they prepared for themselves the night before. Left overs!!! They couldn't even be arsed to buy me my own container of cream but instead poured out the stuff they didn't want. I'm affronted. Affronted, disgusted and frankly a little dismayed in them and it was with an indignant air of begrudgement that I lapped it up.
And I suppose, if truth be known, I shall have to wait until they manufacture spicy food again before I am treated to cream once more. But I'll tell you one thing, if they even dream about giving me Elmlea or any of those other cream wannabe's then they shall rue the day.
P x
Apparently, and to top it all, this particular cream upon which I breakfasted was left over from some spicy food that they prepared for themselves the night before. Left overs!!! They couldn't even be arsed to buy me my own container of cream but instead poured out the stuff they didn't want. I'm affronted. Affronted, disgusted and frankly a little dismayed in them and it was with an indignant air of begrudgement that I lapped it up.
And I suppose, if truth be known, I shall have to wait until they manufacture spicy food again before I am treated to cream once more. But I'll tell you one thing, if they even dream about giving me Elmlea or any of those other cream wannabe's then they shall rue the day.
P x
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
Interlopers
My boat, my mooring, my rules
And the sooner Snowy understands that then the better off we'll all be. You see, he's taken to wandering around the place at all hours. In and out of the boat, up and down the mooring. He even has the temerity to eat my food when my back is turned. And what do the humans do? They 'ooh' and 'aah' at him like it's all just fine simply because he's still technically a kitten.
Well I won't stand for it.
Why only the other day I was forced to give him a short, sharp shock as he tried to scuttle away from me across the mooring. I caught him with a fierce couple of paws. A swift right hander to his lughole followed by a hefty left that sent him speeding back to the safety of the cottage in no time. That put his tail firmly betwixt his legs I can tell you.
Some days, especially if it's too hot, I tolerate his presence as that seems to please the humans and only cements my reputation as the most gorgeous one around here. But woe betide if he gets too close and if he ever gets on my bed again... I'll have him. The only other people I allow on there are Ange and Al and that's just because they feed me - A favour for a favour and all that.
And as for that Stella...
One of these days...
And the sooner Snowy understands that then the better off we'll all be. You see, he's taken to wandering around the place at all hours. In and out of the boat, up and down the mooring. He even has the temerity to eat my food when my back is turned. And what do the humans do? They 'ooh' and 'aah' at him like it's all just fine simply because he's still technically a kitten.
Well I won't stand for it.
Why only the other day I was forced to give him a short, sharp shock as he tried to scuttle away from me across the mooring. I caught him with a fierce couple of paws. A swift right hander to his lughole followed by a hefty left that sent him speeding back to the safety of the cottage in no time. That put his tail firmly betwixt his legs I can tell you.
Some days, especially if it's too hot, I tolerate his presence as that seems to please the humans and only cements my reputation as the most gorgeous one around here. But woe betide if he gets too close and if he ever gets on my bed again... I'll have him. The only other people I allow on there are Ange and Al and that's just because they feed me - A favour for a favour and all that.
And as for that Stella...
One of these days...
Saturday, 6 July 2013
Whitby
How very dare they!!!
Home alone, that’s what I’ve been. Abandoned, forgotten and
uncared for. Left to my own devices and forced to live in what is tantamount to squalour. ME!!! Pixie Poo Poo!!!
They packed a bag and buggered off for a jolly to Whitby.
You should have seen them – laughing and joking like they didn’t have a care in
the world. All they could think about was poncing around the seaside
whilst I had to look after my boat all on my own. Good God they’ll have me
emptying my own litter tray next.
Well sod ‘em!
I’ll teach them not to treat me in such a shabby fashion and
have embarked on a campaign of constant mouse catching and in leaving said mice
outside the bathroom door for them to find in the morning. Let’s see how the
redhead and the lummox like that. Leave me alone overnight will you? At your
peril my friends, at your peril.
Oh sure, they instructed the one they call Becky to feed me
and to be fair to her she did well enough, a little more fuss would have been
better but for now she’ll hold my favour, but those other two… they shall know the
wrath of Pixie Poo Poo.
In time I shall forgive them of course. I’m not a cat to
hold a grudge but it’s going to take a lot more than the box of Whiskas
Casserole Selection they returned with to smooth over the cracks in this one. Whitby indeed!!!
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