She makes my breakfast in the morning.
She gives fantastic all over body rubs.
She tickles my ears.
She kisses my nose.
She lets me sleep on her lap.
She doesn't mind when I leave paw prints on her paperwork.
She gives me salmon, tuna and ham when I turn my nose up at Whiskas.
She shares her food with me.
She's gone away for the week and all I'm left with is the bearded lummox.
I miss her.
P x
(Don't worry, I'll be back to my old self when she gets home gentle reader)
Pages
▼
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Engine
I'd forgotten how blasted bloody awful it is. Ange and the lummox started the engine today for the first time in ages and I am pretty pissed off about it let me tell you. A whole hour I had to endure that awful racket for. A whole hour of having my Sunday afternoon siesta violently interrupted by that rattling, roaring bloody thing whilst they pfaffed about with it. Something or other to do with the cooling system or something. I don't know and frankly don't care either so long as it doesn't happen again in a hurry.
I stayed cool throughout though and retained my elegant composure. They were worried that I might soil myself with fright and flee from the comfort of the armchair to a place of sanctuary with my haunches all a quiver. Well they were wrong there let me tell you. Balls to it, I thought, why should I give up my chair just cause they want to play at being boat mechanics and I stayed put, trying desperately to block it out by putting my gorgeous front paws over my ears. They both got highly excited about it all like it was some big deal. Apparently it shouldn't have started first time but did. Huh! I'm annoyed it started at all. I've half a mind to hide the keys next time, unlike the lummox whose only got half a mind full stop. Hah! See what I did there!
I've no doubt that now Spring is in the air it'll happen more and more often and I'll have to put up with yet more squeals of delight from the pair of them and bone shaking vibrations throughout whilst not even being able to hear myself purr. I don't suppose I'd mind quite so much if they asked me first. It is my boat when all's said and done.
P x
I stayed cool throughout though and retained my elegant composure. They were worried that I might soil myself with fright and flee from the comfort of the armchair to a place of sanctuary with my haunches all a quiver. Well they were wrong there let me tell you. Balls to it, I thought, why should I give up my chair just cause they want to play at being boat mechanics and I stayed put, trying desperately to block it out by putting my gorgeous front paws over my ears. They both got highly excited about it all like it was some big deal. Apparently it shouldn't have started first time but did. Huh! I'm annoyed it started at all. I've half a mind to hide the keys next time, unlike the lummox whose only got half a mind full stop. Hah! See what I did there!
I've no doubt that now Spring is in the air it'll happen more and more often and I'll have to put up with yet more squeals of delight from the pair of them and bone shaking vibrations throughout whilst not even being able to hear myself purr. I don't suppose I'd mind quite so much if they asked me first. It is my boat when all's said and done.
P x
Monday, 3 February 2014
Blackpool
Eleven O'clock! Eleven-bloody-o'clock!!! That's what time they rolled home at. Sunday night I mean. Eleven o'clock on Sunday-bloody-night. They didn't come home at all on Saturday, choosing instead to go sauntering off and stay over at some place called St Anns. St Anns? Huh! Blackpool by any other name to me and you gentle reader. Off they went on another jolly to the seaside leaving poor little me to fend all for myself. Of course when I say fend for myself I mean that I had to spend the night alone on my boat in the cold. Do they honestly expect me to light a fire? Get soot on my gorgeous paws? Not likely my friends, not likely. They did at least employ some kitchen staff before they went in the form of Becky who did her best I suppose but damn it, we've had this conversation before haven't we? I won't stand being left home alone for days on end and it simply won't do. I let them know in no uncertain terms how strongly I felt about it. You should have heard me giving them a powerful meowing as soon as they got out of the car. Their shame and embarrassment was palpable and it was clear that they knew they were in the wrong and attempted to appease me with a bowlful of Dreamies. I ate them but my indignation was painfully clear.
They went to Southport as well whilst they were there. Well whoop-de-doo and bully for them. Mincing around the coast whilst I'm sat here guarding my boat all alone. I can just picture them now. Eating rock, wolfing down fish & chips, swilling lager, poncing around in kiss-me-quick hats, building sand castles, strolling along the prom-prom-bloody-prom and listening to the brass band playing tiddly-om-sodding-pom-pom. Balls !
The lummox has posted some photos on that waste of internet space he laughingly describes as a blog but I have given them no more than a cursory glance. I could give him a few lessons on blogging. If he had any sense he'd take more photos of the magnificent feline that has chosen to live with them and post them on his effort. It would give people something to look at rather than some piffling old tower and a bit of slightly choppy sea.
Blackpool! Huh!
P x
They went to Southport as well whilst they were there. Well whoop-de-doo and bully for them. Mincing around the coast whilst I'm sat here guarding my boat all alone. I can just picture them now. Eating rock, wolfing down fish & chips, swilling lager, poncing around in kiss-me-quick hats, building sand castles, strolling along the prom-prom-bloody-prom and listening to the brass band playing tiddly-om-sodding-pom-pom. Balls !
The lummox has posted some photos on that waste of internet space he laughingly describes as a blog but I have given them no more than a cursory glance. I could give him a few lessons on blogging. If he had any sense he'd take more photos of the magnificent feline that has chosen to live with them and post them on his effort. It would give people something to look at rather than some piffling old tower and a bit of slightly choppy sea.
Blackpool! Huh!
P x