So I went to the vet. And what a time it was. The lummox hoodwinked me to begin with by making me believe that he was shaking my biscuit box to let me know my tea was ready when in actual fact he was merely enticing me into capture. I fell for it and before I knew what was happening he had me seized and bundled into the cat basket with complete lack of ceremony and all done in the most ignominious of manners. My basket may be a Cat Voyageur 200, the crème de la crème of baskets, but I still need to enter it with dignity and pride.
I demonstrated my annoyance in the only way befitting. I shat in the basket once we were in the car. The lummox was the first to detect the odour and it serves him right. It was truly a crap to be proud of as well. A hot, acrid, eye burning, toe curling stench that seared the nostrils, coated the taste buds and left them both gagging for air through the open car windows. Oh sure, they did their best to remain nonchalant and both simpered and whinnied at me all the way to the vets which was ok but I was just glad that they would have the task of cleaning up my excrement later on.
Once we had arrived at the vet things took a turn for the better. The vet herself was very nice and seems to have a way with cats. I took full opportunity to pose and preen and show her what a fine specimen she was dealing with. I received an injection and a tablet and my humans were given instructions as to what to do when we get home. And surely even they can follow those.
The only disappointment I had with the vet was that she had a member of her staff clean the basket and so I was forced to soil it again on the drive home in order that those two might learn to treat me in a way that I deserve. Take that humans.
I'm much better now though so I suppose it was all worth it in the end. My skin is soft and my coat is truly luxurious once more. So thank you vet, you shall remain off my shit list for now.
P x
