Humans will tell you that dogs are intelligent creatures. How they arrive at this conclusion is beyond me and indeed if you were to ask any cat they would all tell you that this is in fact a myth. Oh sure, they can round up sheep, sniff things out, run and fetch etc etc, but these are all nothing more than party tricks which are learnt after many hours of practice. Whereas a cat, you see, is born with a deep and sublime intelligence (though I do wonder about Snowy at times). Dogs you see will do what a human tells them, bounding around with their tongues hanging out and generally making fools of themselves. A cat, on the other paw, will merely flick it's tail and walk away in a dignified manner when issued an order. I'll let you into a little secret here as well. The tail flick is the cat equivalent of when a human shows their middle finger to another human, only not as base or crude a gesture. It's a cat's way of saying 'f#*! off'.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, we had the pleasure of the Dog's company on my boat this weekend. And boy was I pissed about it. Not content with revving that bloody engine and blasting along the rivers again the humans had to add the Dog to the crew and make my life as miserable as possible. All weekend I had to put up with panting, slobbering, whimpering, scratching, howling etc. And the Dog was even worse - hah!, see what I did there.
Really though, to think that I, Pixie Poo Poo, should have to tolerate the presence of the Dog on top of cruising is just asking too much, and don't even get me started on the fact that we ended up in bloody Leeds again on Saturday night. And then they had to go and find a patch of grass for it to evacuate it's bowels on. How awful, what's wrong with a litter tray? And, did you know, that some humans enjoy putting dog excrement into little bags? They must do, I see it so often. I find it all most disturbing.
Anyway, she's gone home now and I can give the place a good airing and start getting back to normal. I put on a quite magnificent display of sulking last night to leave the humans in no doubt about how miffed I was at my weekend being dog-ridden and I shall be expecting treats and molly-coddling to follow, or else.
P x
